A daily boost of motivation, specifically related to GuitarIn5minutes.com - the easiest way to learn guitar from scratch. Often discusses the concept of Beginner's Mind, the Zen precept of openness.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

5 Tips To Make It Through The Holidays (and keep practicing)

Stress.  Holidays.  Time (or lack thereof).  Loss.  Hurt.  Grief.  Frustration.  Anger.

Sound familiar?    So much of life is out of our control.  

Everywhere I have gone this week online and off I see many people having a hard time.   So here's my 5 cents worth (thanks Lucy Van Pelt) of holiday advice on keeping your sanity and finding that even keel (whether or not this includes guitar practice, which hopefully it does):

1.  Don't sweat the small stuff (and it's all small stuff).   If somebody cuts you off in traffic, cuts in front of you in line, is rude, or offends you however, try to let it slide.  Especially with strangers.  Make a deal with yourself that you'll get angry about it after January 1st.   If that seems like too long, start with "I'll get angry about it tomorrow".   Remember, all that anger doesn't hurt them;  it only hurts you.

2.  Breathe.   Lots of tasks to get done before and during the holidays.  Take a minute to breathe.  Many of us, myself included, walk around holding our breath.  You have 10 seconds to catch your breath and start again.  Everybody can find 10 seconds.   Breathing is so very important.  Those who do yoga can practice ujjayi pranayama or "yoga breathing"- this alone can really help re-center you and it doesn't take much time.

3.  Be a little selfish.   This is the giving season, it's true.  But if you give everything you have to doing things for other people, you may feel a little hollow inside.  I'm not talking about big giving, like volunteering at a soup kitchen or playing Santa.  I'm talking about the stay-at-home mom who is cooking Christmas dinner, taking care of 2 - 4 kids, and buying all the presents.   I'm talking about those who are caregivers for sick relatives.   You can afford to take little bits of time for yourself, even if this just means 5 minutes to practice your guitar or meditate.   It is an old adage that if we don't take care of ourselves, we have little to give to others.

4.  Be a little helpful.   Ha!  The contradiction.  But if you are taking even just a little time for yourself, you will most likely be filled with at least a tiny bit of the giving spirit.  Also, it feels good to hold a door for someone, to do the dishes when not asked, to lighten someone else's load.   It's a vicious cycle:  we take a little time for us, have more to give to others, and head into our time for ourselves with a lighter heart.  This will improve your practice.

5.  Take what you need and leave the rest.  When I was 9 years old, my best friend got a Millenium Falcon (a Star Wars toy vehicle).   He and I would play with it at his house, but I was in massive envy.  I asked for it for Christmas, but never got one.  I felt 2nd rate for years because, when personal computers came out, I got a Commodore 64 for Christmas instead of an Apple.  This is the kind of stuff the holidays bring up, and, as you can see, I had a relatively privileged childhood;  I know people whose memories of the holidays include drunk parents, abuse, and no presents.  But no matter how "small" the wounds are, they are still wounds and we all have them in some form or the other.   So, the other day, I posted a picture on a social network of my 4th birthday party, and a friend of mine (also in the picture - we are still in touch!  How fantastic) commented on how she was always jealous because she thought I had "the best" toys.   How wild!   I can honestly say I *never* thought my stuff was "the best";  I always felt second-rate.

Here is my point:  parents do the best they can under the circumstances.  Children do their best as well.  Sometimes the best is not at all acceptable (i.e. your sister always gets the preferential treatment, there is physical/psychological abuse going on, etc).   But unfortunately we cannot redo our own personal histories.  They are there forever.  But we can choose how we relive them, or not to relive them at all.  We can take the best of our families, and leave the rest.  Maybe the best was that you had a safe space to escape to when things got rough.  Maybe the best is that, no matter what, your family always seemed to be able to laugh together.   Maybe the best part for you is that Christmas ends.  But you have the power of choice on how to react, and what you will create from these painful memories.  If you learn to play the guitar, you can write songs about it and make something beautiful/dissonant/rocking out of the bad feelings.   Someone thought I had cool toys - that still matters even at 30something...cleave to the positive!  Let go of the baggage (at least for a little bit).

Practice Beginner's Mind!  Happy holidays.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Blind Spots

We all have our blind spots in life.  Some people can't stand discussing politics with people that don't share their point of view.   Some people don't like sitting in traffic.   Some people don't like jazz.   Others like all kinds of music except American country music.  

My own personal blind spot right now is Lady Gaga - being a huge David Bowie/Freddie Mercury fan, I just don't see the comparisons.  But I do applaud her for working the media machine to the max - she is a PR master!   Good for her.

There is no rule that you have to like everything or everyone.  But I think beginner's mind is useful for these situations.  Knowing that we like or dislike something is enough.  There is no need to take things further and mire our minds in useless negativity.  If I don't like Lady Gaga, that doesn't hurt her at all.  But my own negative thoughts and emotions can sabotage my progress.   If you are like me at all, you can sit there and be angry for hours about absolutely nothing.

There will be people who go out of their way to push your buttons.   In such situations, it's good to take a step back, take a deep breath, and just take it easy for a moment.   Make a list of things you are grateful for, and focus on the tasks at hand.   And, if you learn how to play the guitar, you can write a song about the person or situation that teed you off.  You may never want to play those songs, but you might come up with a winner!   I did that when a drunk jerk fell into my Taylor Guitar at a gig in upstate New York in 1999.  Very therapeutic :-)  

If you are celebrating the holiday season right now, be patient and kind with those around you and try not to get "into it" with anyone.  Everyone seems stressed right now.  Practice beginner's mind, and the people around you will not seem so imposing.  They are just people, after all.   

Friday, December 11, 2009

Tough times demand tough talk

The above title is a lyric from a song by the band called Rush.   The lyric continues "...demand tough hearts demand tough songs..."

Things are pretty tough in the world right now.  A lot of people are out of work, anybody who invests in the stock market has seen their money half in value and not rebound over the last year, and many, many qualified people are working jobs far beneath their capability.   Not to mention the fact that most of the world lives off of $2 a day.  

I have mentioned that before, and while this blog is designed to boost you not depress you, think about that:   2.7 billion people try to feed themselves on $2 a day.  

So if you have more than $2 to eat with today, that is something to be grateful for.

The beauty of doing something for 5 minutes a day is that it always possible to find 5 minutes, no matter how busy you are.  5 minutes is a bathroom break.  Making a sandwich generally takes longer.

The world needs creativity.  From a music business perspective, there is a huge oversupply of music so much so that it is very difficult (but not impossible) to make a living selling original music.   From a human being perspective, though, I think this is great.  More people are playing guitar than ever before.  Playing guitar is good for people.   There are dozens of studies about the effects of music on stress.

Personally, I think more people need to play guitar instead of taking drugs, starting wars, and giving in to various other addictions.  The best thing about being addicted to guitar playing is that it will never give you a hangover (worst case scenario:  sore fingers).

And you don't even need to be "addicted" to guitar playing or make that your goal to participate.  All you need is 5 minutes a day.

Practice Beginner's Mind!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Thursday's Child has far to go, Friday's child is loving and giving

One of the reasons I preach the gospel of "5 Minutes A Day" is because it is my experience that consistent action is the best way to get anything done.

I was able to quit my day job by writing a business plan every day at Starbucks for 15 minutes.  It took a year, but the results were highly worth it.

With the help of close proximity to some great musicians, I was able to teach myself how to play lead guitar by practicing 5 minutes a day.   I'm still not Clapton, but I can do it.

It's not about how much time we put into an activity, especially a new one.  It's about regular, consistent action.  Practice Beginner's Mind!  

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Life Is What Happens To You While You're Busy Making Other Plans

December 8th is a sad day in music history.   Two great musicians - John Lennon and "Dimebag" Darrell from Pantera - were both shot and killed on that day (in 1980 and 2004 respectively).   Personal musical taste aside, both players were extremely skilled at their musical genres and had a huge influence on their followers.

Nothing is harder on beginner's mind than senseless tragedy.   Why would anybody shoot a musician?  Especially ones that were about making people feel good?  Even tragedies that make sense, like the passing of a beloved grandparent, can derail our enthusiasm and make us feel like life is meaningless.

There were two specific losses in my community of friends and comrades this year.  One was a dear little 4 year old girl who lost her battle with cancer, the daughter of one of the funniest, warmest friends of mine from college I can think of.   The other was a peer (also from college), someone I sang with on stage, performed in various shows, wrote songs for, laughed with, drank with.  Both losses were connected to a specific period in my life - college - a period I love to mourn in my bouts of self-pity (do not think this author is a master or guru - I am walking the path just like you).  

What do we do in the face of death?   When even tragedy that does not directly affect us reveals how sad life can be?

One thing to remember is Buddha's first Noble Truth - Life is suffering.  After all, Beginner's Mind is a Zen concept and Zen is a Buddhist-based philosophy.   Buddha meant by this that once we accept the TOTALITY of life in all of its horribleness, we can begin to transcend it.   This is life.  We have to deal. We can cry and hide, or we can stand up and play our guitars and write songs about what should change.

We can't change the fact that little children die sometimes, great musicians sometimes get shot by maniacs, genocide happens, and most of the world lives on $2 a day.

But we can change ourselves.  And one of the ways that we can change ourselves is by being creative.

It is through being creative that we will find solutions.   Maybe someday treatments will prevent cancer, maybe through mental health assistance and legislation insane people won't be able to purchase guns, maybe the human race will evolve past genocide, and maybe we will find a way to feed everyone.  Maybe not in our lifetimes, but creativity is just that - creating anew.   We can create the world we want, first by imagining it, and second by taking action.  

The world we want may not materialize in our lifetime.   But the only way it WON'T happen is if we stop creating.   And we only need to take 5 minutes a day.   We don't need to start creating any more than that, be it painting, writing, guitar playing, flute playing, or dancing.  

So you see?   Your 5 minutes of guitar practice helps the whole world!   It's 5 minutes that somebody spent creating something beautiful and doing something creative that wasn't spent dropping a bomb or worrying about where the next paycheck went.  

Practice Beginner's Mind.   Sorry for the long post.   Enjoy the video clips.

John Lennon - Beautiful Boy

Pantera - Cowboys From Hell (Live At Ozzfest)   (might be offensive to some, guitar solo is 3:03)

Monday, December 7, 2009

Baby Steps

This blog is meant to be a daily blog.   Yet it's been a week since I've written in it.  

Maybe you have started to learn to play guitar and the lessons are just sitting in your email box, unused.  

In order to progress,  the critic voice who says, "See, I told you so?  I KNEW you couldn't do it blah blah blah" has to be sent on a PERMANENT vacation.   This doesn't happen overnight.  It takes time.  But wouldn't they prefer to be in Maui or Florida or someplace warm (wouldn't we all)?   Convince them to move to a warmer clime.  Buy them a one way plane ticket.  Say "Have a nice trip", "Sayonara", "see you around" etc.   

Pick yourself up.  Remind yourself that you get credit for just trying.   A baby doesn't learn to walk by tap dancing.   They fall down.   And get up again.   And try again.   The smallest step in the direction of your dreams and accomplishing your goals is a major success and should be treated as such!   

Just as I was writing this post, my dear friend Carrie Anne mentioned something about a new song she wrote called "Baby Steps".   At the risk of embarrassing her, I want to reprint her lyrics because they are so apropos and I really like the song - reminds me of Victoria Williams....link to the music is below, thanks Carrie!  

Look out of your window, can't be a world outside, that is too inviting
I'll stay and watch the leaves blow
Think how they coincide,with many a life..but
Can't see their faces from here..so you put them away with your fears
can't hear their voices from here,voices from here,voices that nobody hears
you can't wash them all away-those bubbles float round the drain
And I can't make it go away,not my choice anyway,not my choice these days
not my choice.
Take baby steps with me
One Step, Two Step..three One step, two step three
And you can't wash them all away
those bubbles float round the drain..not my choice these days

Look into my window,they won't get nothing from me
Till they let me be...me.
Wonder which way the the winds blows
Can't see their eyes from here,there ...eyes.their eyes are red with tears.
Can't see their Blood from here..their Blood from here.

And you can't wash this stain away-as our brothers go down the drain
and you can't wish this pain away- as our sisters go up in flames.

One step ..two step ..three
take baby steps with me..one step,two step ..three..
take baby steps...with...me.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

When things don't go as planned

It can be very, very discouraging when plans fall through, especially if these plans involve money, time, loved ones, or anything that you have committed to, like learning a new language or musical instrument.

You have been practicing 5 minutes a day on your guitar and then - maybe the airlines lose or break your guitar.   Maybe you have a 10 hr travel day that was supposed to be a 3 hr travel day, and you are too exhausted to practice.   Maybe life concerns overwhelm you and you just are not able to practice that day.   Maybe you have a horrible chest cold that you cannot shake (like the person typing this) and you feel your daily tasks of self-employment building up like a giant wall about to fall on you the moment you get better.

It is so easy to let life come between us and our 5 minutes or however long of solitude.  And it can be so hard to carve this time and space out in stone and say "DO NOT DISTURB!"  It is so easy to check out and say "whatever" and so hard to care sometimes.   It is so easy to push oneself to the brink of exhaustion and so hard to take a little bit of time each day for the things that nurture and fulfill.

The best part about beginner's mind is that we can start over again at any time.  Fell down?  Pick yourself off, dust yourself off, and find something - one small, seemly insignificant thing - to be grateful for or to be excited about.

For example, I may be ill but today I watched a great movie called Garden State that I've always wanted to see.  All about not settling for where you are and yet not letting our own grandiosity and self-importance carry us away from the things we love.  Hilarious, touching, moving.  And full of beginner's mind!  Zach Braff's first film - all about where he came from.  

As Bob Dylan sang, "There is no success like failure, and failure is no success at all."

In order to succeed, we have to try and fail.  And pick ourselves up.  And start over as best as we can.

Practice beginner's mind!  

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